I’ve had Apollo for about 10 weeks now words cannot describe how rewarding it has been. There was a bit of turbulence at first scrambling to sort out childcare but everything fell into place with daycare and help from his Aunt and Uncle whom I couldn’t have done this without.

In this time I was finally able to sort out the DNA of it all.

There was never a shadow of a doubt he was mine. Before he was born, after he was born, I knew. All I’ve ever wanted was for the world, including the government, to recognize me as his father. I wanted to have my paternal rights. There was some level of insecurity I had that I couldn’t prove to someone that I was the father. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when the paternity test came back to me. After that, I decided it was time we work back to some normalcy. I floated the idea to the powers that be and his mother.

With all this happening, I could feel the anger I have had just disappear. I want to move past everything that has happened and move forward. I don’t want to fight anymore. It’s exhausting and draining all my energy. I’m not harboring and disdain for her anymore. I want to be able to talk to her but unfortunately I cannot right now.

All I can really do is leave breadcrumbs…

I love having him. I love seeing his development that is happening rapidly. He’s exhibiting new behaviors, gestures, and words.

His mother deserves to be around for all that. I want Apollo to have a normal life with 2 loving parents.

My capacity for love seems infinite and I love him more each and every moment he’s with me.

I want her to be proud of how I’ve done with him and proven I can step up. I believe I also have to acknowledge how difficult it must have been for her when she had him on her own. I have to be eternally grateful everything she has done bringing him into this world. He’s my entire world now. All my thoughts revolve around him. She brought me this little boy.

I just want everything to be normal. I want us all to live our best lives.